Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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