and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
