hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize