Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
