I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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