Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize