You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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