Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
