whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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