Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
