I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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