i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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