hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
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You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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