I am puke
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
