he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
