there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have aggressive nipples.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
