but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
