Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
