Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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