Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
