I'm jealous of your bromance
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
