so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize