2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you didnt know i had herpes?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
