I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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