I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Boobs speak an international language.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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