I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
