Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
