Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
