Jerry, you need to find god
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
