I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
