So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
