So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize