I'm going to jail i love you
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
