Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
