We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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