I heard we made out
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize