Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
