so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
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Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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