Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
