i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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