I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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