can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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