this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
