WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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