can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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