Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
