you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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