The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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