I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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