if you like me you must not know who I am
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
