I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
