Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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