Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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