You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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