Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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