Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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