I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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