I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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