bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
