I cannot find my penis.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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