good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
