she was so not down for the gang bang
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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