I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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