haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
