dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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