it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
